#anyways THANK YOU AGAIN <333< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[littlecrittereli]

Wanted to doodle some comfort bros to balance out the angst of my recent posts lol

Hey pookies! Just wanted to say I really appreciate all the love and support I've been receiving lately for Decoded! I always love your comments/asks/fanart/memes, it genuinely has been bringing me so much joy and I'm so grateful for it <3

I know I said I had a lot of art to post (and then proceeded to post none of it LOL) I'm just a little overwhelmed rn with some life stuff so sorry for the wait! I also have a lot asks that I haven't gotten to and I apologize for that as well!

Trying my best to keep up, but I haven't had a lot of time recently. Art's gonna be a little delayed, but don't worry Chapter 8 is still gonna come out this Saturday as scheduled!

[spiderscribe]

For te character ask: gimme Starscream (TFP), Dead End (cyberverse) and Drift (mtmte)

:3💖

Ajfldksjlf you somehow managed to pick three of the five characters that I’ve been really rotating through my brain this past week so thank youuuu I had a ton of fun with these :3 enjoy the headcanons!!! 

Starscream (TFP)

Headcanon A:  realistic

When Starscream gets over himself and stops fussing over how to make himself look as good as possible, he’s actually a pretty good leader who’s skilled at managing all the small details to accomplish his bigger goals. Starscream himself doesn’t know this though, because even when other people genuinely think he’s doing a great job, they keep it to themselves for fear of inflating Starscream’s ego. (It’s Soundwave. He’s people.)

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Starscream’s opinion on humans goes up from “occasionally amusing but overall useless life forms” to “extremely grudging fear respect” after that time Miko stole the apex armor from him and beat him up. Obviously Starscream doesn’t reveal this shift to anyone, but after some observing Raf figures him out. He chooses not to tell Starscream that Miko is an outlier and most other humans wouldn’t be able to kick his ass, because a) it’s an advantage he can maybe use in the future and b) he starts laughing to himself whenever he thinks about it.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Starscream is desperately touch-starved, and craves physical intimacy and gentle touches. Alas, after everyone he’s lost and everyone who’s hurt him throughout the war, he never allows himself to be that vulnerable with anyone ever again. He does his best to keep everyone, no matter which side he’s currently playing, a careful arm’s length distance away.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Since it’s canon that Starscream likes to browse the internet, my possible-but-still-probably-unrealistic headcanon is that Starscream is pretty fluent in internet memes and slang. He expects Soundwave to know a lot too, since Soundwave monitors everything, but Soundwave tends to filter out anything he deems pointless and that includes anything to do with human internet culture. The first time Starscream brings up a meme in reaction to one of Soundwave’s audio clips, he gets a very confused blank stare in response.

Dead End (Cyberverse)

Headcanon A:  realistic

Dead End is bad at forming close friendships, mostly because his unending pessimism tends to eventually put people off, but he’s actually pretty good at initiating small talk and making superficial acquaintances. That’s why he’s on speaking terms with most of Decepticon high command and makes a feeble effort to save them from the Loop. (Feeble because, well, being on speaking terms with them doesn’t mean he actually likes all of them. Case in point: Soundwave.)

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

As they slowly get to know each better by virtue of forced proximity, Dead End and Hot Rod both come to realize they actually have a lot in common: they’re both the “shoot first, ask questions later” type of bot, they’ve both got quick tempers, they both like to keep their finish as pristine as possible, and (although Hot Rod tries to pretend this one isn’t true) they’re both prone to negative introspection when things aren’t going their way. Rather than bringing them closer together, this realization horrifies them both and they silently and mutually avoid bringing it up, ever.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

I touched on this in my deadceptor fic, but reiterating it here with more heart-crushing-ness: Dead End doesn’t regret choosing to abandon everyone and leave the universe with Megatron. It’s not that he doesn’t care about everyone else, and if they were all hurt or killed by the Quintessons he would’ve been sorry that they died, but that’s not enough for him to feel bad about his choices. He’s not sorry about prioritizing himself and his own goals first.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Shortly after joining the Decepticons, Dead End developed a crush on Megatron. It eventually faded into strong admiration and loyalty, but Dead End still thinks the whole situation was extremely embarrassing and would vehemently deny it to anyone who asks.

Drift (Mtmte)

Headcanon A:  realistic

Drift’s ongoing “see who gets more kills in fights” contest with Rodimus was actually his initial idea, not Rodimus’. He came up with it so he has something to focus on while fighting (keeping track of his increasing number of kills) and he doesn’t lose himself in a mindless rage the way he used to do as Deadlock. He only meant it as a one-time thing, but competing with Rodimus turned out to be so fun, and Rodimus’ sulking face when he lost was so funny, that Drift brought it up again the next time.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

If a normal bot was fully aware that Ultra Magnus hated them, they’d do their best to stay out of Magnus’ way and avoid doing anything to piss him off. Drift, who is far from a normal bot and more mischievous than most people think, conspires with Rodimus to play really stupid pranks on Magnus like adjusting the lighting to be a few degrees brighter than regulation and using incorrect punctuation in his submitted reports. Drift thinks of it as “if Magnus thinks I’m the same kind of idiot as Rodimus, then he’ll stop seeing me as a dangerous Decepticon.” Rodimus just thinks the whole thing is hilarious and is glad that he isn’t the only one getting yelled at.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Drift treasures every close connection he’s formed in the past and present—all the people who saw something good and worth saving in him. But after he defects from the Decepticons, he starts chasing that kind of close connection with a secondary reason: yes, he still desires that intimacy, but he’s also looking for people to devote his life to. Drift sees offering his unquestioning loyalty as a way to atone, and if he ends up dying for someone, then, well, it’s what he deserves after everything he did as Deadlock.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

A leftover habit from his days as Deadlock means Drift naturally has a very exaggerated fighting style. Think dramatic twirls and poses, sword thrusts that are a little flashier than strictly necessary, brutal punches that hit where he knows will cause the most energon to spray out, terrifying smiles, etc. As Deadlock, it strengthened his reputation as a fearsome berserker and he revelled in it. As Drift, it’s mortifying as all slag. It takes him conscious effort to not fight like that, and he still sometimes slips into the habit by accident. Rodimus tells him not to worry about it because he thinks it’s cool. Many, many years later, Ratchet admits it’s kind of hot.

[yujeong]

Earlier I read your post on hoping to see a sex scene between Korn and Fasai so that you could compare their scene to Korn and Tonkla`s sex scenes. Now that we have seen them in my opinion there`s a clear difference. Could you tell more about your thoughts on the differences/similarities in how Korn acts around them and what it tells about these relationships. I have lots of thoughts on those scenes and it would be nice to hear how other people see and interpret these scenes.

OMG a 4 Minutes ask! How nice of you to ask me anon, thank you so much ❤️ So, Korn. What a guy. I'm so happy we got the 2 sex scenes, they give us so much info about Korn's character and what his relationship with both Tonkla and Fasai is. Now, let's start with the similarities, because there's fewer of them: - Korn doesn't initiate the sex on either occasion. Tonkla does by poking at his dick a couple of times and telling him he's "not only good at talking", as well as start kissing him all over his chest during the second round that never happened, and Fasai does by signaling to him he should... well, get on with it lol, - Korn uses nicknames to address both Tonkla and Fasai (I can't hear his words clearly, but I have a feeling he calls him Kla? Maybe that's why the subtitle breaks the name for some reason? - it's Tonkla not Ton Kla lol), meaning both relationships are intimate, - Now, I'm mostly adding this for the lols, but neither Tonkla nor Fasai enjoyed their sexual encounter with Korn. This happens for very different reasons though, which I'll explain later, - This is more of a headcanon than anything, but both relationships are transactional, even if KornTonkla doesn't seem like it is (or even FasaiKorn tbh). On to the important stuff, the differences: - In his relationship with Tonkla, Korn is the one who knows more about things he's not willing to share with him (mainly, his new shady job, though I'm sure there could be more down the line), while with Fasai, Korn is the one who's in the dark, - Korn is the one who controls everything that happens during his time with Tonkla (putting on the condom despite being asked not to + making Tonkla come, even though he was "fine not coming"), while Fasai is the one who's in complete control of the encounter with Korn, - Generally, the relationship between Korn and Tonkla seems to revolve around what Korn wants (what he wants to share, his pleasure, his schedule, his money), while the relationship between Korn and Fasai is completely controlled by her and her alone, - Since it's about Korn's pleasure, Tonkla doesn't get to enjoy the sex they have (it's over too quickly for him to come and he feels self-conscious when Korn asks him if he did + telling him he shouldn't bother helping him). The scene is very cleverly shot in a way that this isn't obvious, but I believe a re-watch and the second episode's context might help the audience see it more clearly. On the other hand, Fasai doesn't seem to be enjoying Korn eating her out, because that's not the point of the scene. It's all about power and control. She doesn't seek pleasure from Korn, she seeks his submission, - And now comes the point about both relationships being transactional: the difference, again, is about who the relationship benefits. With Tonkla, it's all about Korn - he gives him money and glimpses of affection and some of his time, for Tonkla to give back his unwavering love and... well, his body. I might seem harsh with this, but those are the vibes the scene gave me and judging by how he talked to him in ep2, I don't think I'm that far off. However, Fasai wants Korn's submission as I said, for which she helps him run his new business in return. It wasn't clear if Fasai is meant to be Korn's girlfriend or not with what little we've gotten, but I'm willing to believe that's the case - Tonkla knows about Fasai, he didn't seem surprised when Korn mentioned her to his father, so she could be what he passes as an official relationship while having Tonkla on the side, - Oh, very important detail which I shall not forget to mention: Korn wants to have sex with Tonkla, while his scene with Fasai suggested he's not doing this willingly. I'd say he's either coerced into submitting to her or it's just... work to him. Either way, key difference to the two scenes so I had to say it. I think that's all I have for now. I am deeply fascinated by all three characters and I can't wait to learn more about them ❤️ I'm sure Sammon will give us many treats involving their storylines.

[yuwuta]

i politely demand you talk about your nge/pacrim au!

thank you for enabling my behavior and for all your art omg <33333 i will attempt to coherently and briefly outline my thoughts

the short version is: yuuta/rika saves you post-battle and both are irrationally upset when it turns out that you already have a boyfriend. 

yuuta would like to take some of the credit for digging you out the rubble, but the truth is, it was like his mech was on auto-pilot, overriding all of his controls to dig you out of a lifeless environment and stash your cold, limp body in the center chamber until yuuta and rika were transported back to the base. 

yuuta doesn’t understand why he lost control of rika like that, nor does he understand why he feels so upset when he goes to visit you in the infirmary and there’s already some other man by your bedside holding your hand. he vaguely recognizes kokichi as a junior engineer who’s done a few surface level repairs on rika, and he’s surprised and green with envy to find out that kokichi is also your boyfriend. 

yuuta doesn’t understand the anger he feels, or the headache he gets, or the panic attack that’s threatening to rise in him, or why his feet automatically drag him back to his mech, or why he feels like he could hear rika’s faint sobs and screams in his head and he lay in his pilot chamber. none of it makes sense and he can barely sleep because of it, but it happens every time he thinks about you and kokichi for too long; and strangely enough, if the thinks about how rika seemed to come to life to save you for too long. there’s some kind of missing link he can’t piece together. 

when you’re conscious, you can’t seem to recall any part your childhood, and only have your memories from college onwards, save for bits and pieces of the attack you were a victim of. yuuta learns that you were studying to be an engineer, that you were moving to work at the hangar and be closer to your boyfriend, that kokichi was slated to pick you up from the airport that ended up being the site of attack. a small part of yuuta wishes kokichi had been there, thinks that rika wouldn’t have found him in the rubble. 

you’re the miracle save, and somewhat become the baby of the hangar. world-renowned pilots you’d only ever studied in class stopped by to give you their condolences, offer their help. you try to remain calm when satoru gojo and kento nanami make an appearance as a duo in your tiny recovery room, calling you brave and bowing to you with a home cooked meal in hand. senior engineers do their best to recover your work from college, assuring you that your injuries and recovery period would be a non-factor in the hiring process—that you were free to start as soon as you felt comfortable. you get the most attention from yuuta, who makes himself a friend, and a critical part of your recovery, essentially firing your physical therapist in favor of fixing you himself. 

everyone makes you feel welcome, but yuuta makes you feel safe. he holds your waist while you re-learn to walk, he sneaks you into the pilot’s lounge while the jaegers have their repairs done—and nods in faux-sympathy as you mourn the presence of your boyfriend, who seems busier than ever these days with nuisance repairs, jokes about how yuuji and megumi seem to be particularly reckless with their jaeger lately—he squeezes your hand when you have headaches and fractured flashbacks of your past that you can’t piece together, he holds you when you cry out of pure frustration of not being able to remember who you are

yuuta’s a real smooth talker, too. always knows exactly how to comfort you while your boyfriend is busy, always talks to the press about you so preciously, always makes you feel like you have a purpose even if you can’t remember your past self—maybe you weren’t meant to remember anything before him and rika, maybe it was meant to be this way. it’s a twisted comfort, but it’s something to cling to, it’s better than crying over memories you no longer have.

everyone notices yuuta’s weird reverse stockholm syndrome lol… the way he hovers over you like he’s your sole protector and savior, the way he demands to be privy to all decisions about your health care, the way he remains close to you with no fear of your boyfriend. nobody says anything, though—yuuta’s a pilot, a good one, and one the few solo pilots in the entire world. he’s precious and vital to humanity, worth a thousand men, worth ten thousand engineers. besides, his friends see something special between you two, especially the co-pilot pairs; satoru and kento, megumi and yuuji, choso and yuki—they know compatibility when they see it, and boyfriend or not, you have something special with yuuta. they all share a common thought: kokichi is fighting a losing battle. and even if he could beat yuuta, he’d never win against rika.

[gorelesbian]

Do you have any favorite exploitation films? I know you like horror more but some of them can be horror/thriller adjacent You have good taste so I wanna know your opinion :D

sorry it took me so long to answer this but THANK YOUUUUUU for valuing my opinion hehehehe giggling and kicking my feet <3

i do struggle a little bit with defining what is and isn't exploitation so i'll divide my recs in categories to help you find something you like! i also put a star behind my personal favs! :)

a horror movie but they hired a freak as makeup artist (aka "normal" horror that goes extra hard on the gore) ;

battle royale (2000) ☆

becky (2020) & the wrath of becky

the collector (2009) & the collection (2012) ☆

evil dead (2013) ☆

green room (2015) ☆

hatchet franchise (2006-2017)

house of wax (2005) ☆

the loved ones (2005) ☆

sleepaway camp (1983) ☆

talk to me (2022)

the texas chainsaw massacre (1974) ☆

when evil lurks (2023)

you're next (2011) ☆

yummy (2019)

who needs a plot when there's limbs flying around (aka mostly just gore) ;

the beyond (1981) ☆

braindead (1992) ☆

demons (1985)

the machine girl (2008) ☆

maniac (1980)

tokyo gore police (2008)

who needs a plot when there's limbs flying around and not a shirt in sight (aka mostly just gore but also boobs) ;

alucarda (1977) ☆

cabin fever (2002) ☆ (i love this piece of shit....forgive me)

chopping mall (1986)

frankenhooker (1990)

pieces (1982)

the return of the living dead (1985) ☆

the slumber party massacre (1982)

species (1995)

vampyros lesbos (1971)

blood and guts but also emotional damage (aka gore but with a serious plot. some have SA so check tws!) ;

american mary (2012)

funny games (1997) ☆

inside (2007)

martyrs (2008) ☆

ms .45 (1981) ☆

revenge (2017) ☆

i hope there's some you haven't seen yet!!!! :)

[inkykeiji]

hihi! your rb with the tags about your profession had me intrigued and I wanted to ask, what DID kill the Hollywood system? if you don't mind me asking >u<

HI HI HI HEHEHE first of all i hope you’re doing well!!! seCONDLY OMGGG thank you for indulging me waaaaah i love talking about golden age/classical hollywood and the studio system!!!

beware: i rambled on and on below the cut >.< apologies for the mini essay in advance waaah

OKAY SO. first, a little context. the classical hollywood studio system originally utilized a practice called ‘vertical integration’, which basically means they owned and operated ALL channels of production, distribution, AND exhibition—aka, they controlled literally everything in regards to the films they made, which was like 90% of american filmmaking at the time. this, naturally, made it quite difficult for any film that wasn’t a film made by the Big Five (warner bros, paramount, 20th century fox, RKO, and MGM) or the Little Three (columbia pictures, united artists, and universal) to be screened at a theatre, because the studios owned a decent chunk of the theatres.

furthermore, the theatres the big studios DID own always got first run of their films, meaning that their movies were exclusively screened at the theatres they owned first, then were passed off to second run, third run and fourth run theatres. it’s important to note here that the film prints being distributed and passed around theatres were the same all throughout a film’s run—so by the time a print reached a fourth run theatre, the film stock was all scratched up and low quality. who wants to go watch that? (no one! audiences flocked to the first run theatres owned by the studios!).

the antitrust case between the supreme court and paramount pictures (aka ‘the paramount decrees’) was the first, and heaviest, nail in the coffin of the studio system. the paramount decrees did two things. first, they forced studios to stop a practice known as block booking. block booking was a practice where theatres not owned by the big studios were forced to buy a huge block or batch of films in advance. usually, these films included one A-list film and then a bunch of B-movies and other less desired films. second, they forced studios to cease owning theatre chains, which allowed for indie directors to begin screening their films, AND it allowed for more international films to be shown (which in turn helped break down the production code & replaced it with the ratings system).

this began the end of the system! it was then further impacted by consumer culture, car culture, and suburbia. after world war two, many people moved out of the city and into the suburbs, where they began to start families. car culture was booming and it was hip to have a car that you could use to commute to work (from the suburbs into the city!). disposable income was abundant, and many families were buying fancy new appliances for their new suburban homes—including televisions.

it’s a common misconception that TV killed the studio system. it was, in actually, only one of several nails in the coffin. television at the time was pretty crummy; it was low quality, the screens were small, and it only had about three channels (not to mention studios began allowing television networks to begin screening older films that no longer ran in theatres). but evidence proves that moviegoing attendance had fallen drastically several years before televisions became a fixture in the home. to combat TV and capitalize on car culture, studios began erecting drive-ins, to little avail!

anyway, i could go on and on and on but basically, in a nutshell, those were the handful of things that broke down the classical studio system and gave way to ‘new hollywood’…which then gave way to the blockbuster.

[thee-morrigan]

hello hello friend! do you have any lore you’d like to share about the best pup, sleater? (~agentnatesewell)

hiii, Mar! I would LOVE to share some Sleater lore — tysm for asking about her! 💖

- her full name is Sleater-Kinney, after the band (if the Weezer reference in the last chapter didn't make it obvious, Holland is very into 90s alt/indie music, so of *course* she named her dog after one such band lol)

- she's a red merle Australian Shepherd

- Aussies are notorious velcro dogs and Sleater is no exception — she follows Holland almost everywhere (Aussies in general can be p needy, which is something that is actually Very Good for Holland, even if she wouldn't necessarily admit to loving that trait)

- part of what swayed Holland into adopting her was learning that she was surrendered for being too high maintenance and having more energy than her original owners were prepared for. Holland would say this is mostly because she wanted a running partner (which isn't *un*true), but the whole truth is that she found that description hit a little too close to home and it made her sad (I am once again using extremely unsubtle narrative devices to heal Holland's mommy issues xD)

- taking advantage of the fact that Holland doesn't live in an apartment in this AU: Sleater has a lil obstacle course in their backyard (and shoutout to @lykegenia for being the source of this particular headcanon — Sleater doing like, dog gymnastics would never have occurred to me if she hadn't shared that idea with me in the first place!!)

- one of Sleater's favorite summer nighttime activities is chasing lightning bugs (there's a scene in an upcoming chapter that mentions/features this). she's never caught one, but she's very determined (and very silly).

[aletheialed]

Right now, wine glass in hand and staring vacantly into the dark corners of the room in which he dwells - Barok can't help but think about his brother. To think about Klint during hard times, the man who he's always admired so much, has always come naturally to him - but it can't bring him any comfort now.

The truth is, Barok doesn't know what he should feel more betrayed about. The fact that the brother he'd wanted to emulate all his life was nothing but a killer, who's actions resulted in the ending and ruining of so many lives, including Barok's own? Or... is it that, until the very end, Klint was too afraid to share that horrible truth with him, even when that fear allowed him to be controlled into committing the most heinous acts imaginable?

It makes him want to laugh with a bitterness he hasn't felt in years. It makes him feel ill; desperate and angry and like a fraying rope about to snap. Perhaps it's sinful, and a sign of Barok's own weak character, that Klint's lack of trust in him might be what hurts the most. Had he thought Barok would break under the weight of the truth, and sought to protect him from that fate? What's worse is that Barok doesn't know how he would've reacted deep down. What's the scarier thought - that Barok would've turned away in despair and been unable to carry on just as his brother feared, or that he would stand with Klint, perhaps even turning a blind eye to his crimes...?

...There's no point in thinking about it now. But if he doesn't think about Klint, then there's no shortage of other things to take his place at the forefront of his mind. Such as the true identity of the Reaper, and how Barok had been complicit in his crimes for the longest time - allowing himself to be used and manipulated like a puppet on a string, even when he didn't see the full extent of it all.

His whole life, these past ten years in which he thought he'd endured so much, all for the sake of the people of London... what were they all for?

When he hears the knock on the door, it's tempting to ignore it entirely - he barely has the energy to stand, anyway. He doesn't know who it could possibly be, considering everything, but... in the end, he rises like a man possessed, and finds himself walking to open the door as if in a trance. What he sees when the door opens is the last thing he expects.

"Mr... Naruhodo...? You... pray tell, what are you doing here at this hour?"

@tenacquity ( starter! )

[bluelolblue]

How do you think Santino’s dad would react if he found out John convinced him to talk to a therapist? 👀 Or even just go to dog therapy - I think one of your fics talked about that.

OOH that's a nice ask thank you thank you >:] 💙

Yes, in Biscuit, I mentioned that dog therapies were the only therapies Santino was willing to try. That was John's idea since they both liked dogs. Those therapy sessions could be helpful. Santino was probably embarrassed to ask for any type of help that considered a psychiatrist or a therapist. He was raised (well, his toxic father influence) that people who ask for those types of help that go to therapies are weak and pathetic. There was absolutely no way of Santino getting help during his growing up. Maybe only talking with his mother was helpful, but she was no psychiatrist. So, he was taught to just go through it all ALONE. Which he kinda handled well all these years, but that was unhealthy, I mean, it was destroying him mentally even if he didn't notice at first. Smoking, drinking sometimes, not sleeping enough, not eating enough, etc, it all affected him heavily during years.

Meeting John, who helped him understand himself, was when he got saved. Of course, it wasn't easy at first, but slow steps with Santino was something John learned how handle. Never to rush him since Santino has his own pace, be patient with him, try to calm him down, and step by step, it worked. Slowly but surely ^ ^

Santino is like a stray little kitten, more of a spicy kitten who will hiss and spit at you and act tough when in reality he's just scared of getting out of his comfort zone. Scared of the unknown, because he was convinced and manipulated all his life that asking for help was wrong and for the weak. When it obviously wasn't wrong. John was the lucky guy who managed to help that little spicy kitten and turn him into spoiled but healthier indoor kitten :3

Okay, I think I went off the theme a little, now for the real ask AHAH. Oh and a lot of this was inspired by The Leash by @mrssimply , I really really liked chapter 5 where it was mostly about Santino, his childhood and when Santino met with his father again and taunted him while Giacomo was being an asshole and kept hurting his son. So, yes >:]

And I also see this with Santino in general, that dynamic, the toxic behavior from his father, so let me yap some more ^ ^

Like I said, Santino's father convinced little Santino that therapies are wrong. If he found out that John... THE BOOGEYMAN convinced HIS SON to talk to a therapist, he would literally go after John (send his men). Actually, the first thing he would do when he met with Santino would probably be to slap or punch him and insult him for falling that low. AND that he was fucking with John.

So, his father is looking at the situation like this: He was right about Santino being weak ever since he was a kid, so a failed heir. He was extremely disappointed and mad when he found out that he was seeing with John, who also managed to convince his son to get help. The D'Antonio's were supposed to be feared by everyone. They were supposed to be mentally strong to handle everything, and now the only male heir, Santino ruined everything. If some of his father's colleagues found out about that, it would be a shame to the whole D'Antonio name.

So, he punished Santino. When his son was at his weakest, he hurt him physically and mentally. It wouldn't even be the first time this happened. Except this time, Santino was angry, not aggressive, but just very, very pissed off. He would stand up on his shaky legs, smile to taunt his father, and vow that he would kill him. Or just taunt him because he lost it a little. His father expected Santino to fear him like he used to, but Santino was too broken, something snapped inside him, like something was burning inside him, he wanted to scream, he wanted to beat his father but he couldn't. He couldn't because his body didn't have the strength after the beating. His mind was the angry one, and all he could do was taunt his own father more, to show him that he doesn't fear him anymore.

Finding about dog therapies. Now, that would piss his father off a lot. "Who the fuck goes to dog therapies??" Well, his father also wasn't very fond of animals, either, he never wanted to get Santino and Gianna a pet.

When John found out about what Santino's father did, he was fucking pissed off. Right when John managed to try and convince Santino to get help, not even alone, but with John so he would have his support. Santino's father RUINED IT FOR EVERYONE. Imagine if the little progress John made with Santino got ruined... that's not very nice Mr Asshole D'Antonio. I think even if Santino told John to not even try going after his father because it could be too dangerous, John would feel so much guilt seeing the bruises and cuts on his lover. How Santino looked tired but still had his charm. It's something Santino learned while growing up.

Smile through the pain.

And John knew that and it broke him because he knew just in how much pain Santino was but he wasn't even showing or telling him that. He knew that Santino would eventually break down if the situation doesn't change. John would do anything to give Santino a happier and healthier life. Anything. He would kill for him, run away with him, fake his death with him, ANYTHING just for Santino to get better.

He couldn't watch Santino just smile and hold back his true emotions when he was in so much pain. John would tell him that was not healthy, to just do anything to feel better, to show him how he truly feels. Even to yell, hit him, break something, to let that pain and desperation out. Eventually with time, Santino does that... but the "breaking something" often resulted with his hands bleeding...

So, yes. Santino's father would be pissed off if he found out about Santino going to therapies. But yk the old fuck dies, so Santino is finally free ^ ^

Thank you for reading my yapping, I love talking about these types of themes with Santino and John 💙🖤

[donaviolet]

Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps

[waterfallofspace]

A Word-Filled Update

that no one's asking forrrr~

Sooooo, hiya~ ^^

Realized I kinda dropped out without much word, and wanted to give a lil update to anyone who may care, (and specifically to all the unfilled requests that have been sat in my inbox for months now T~T)

Dropping it under a cut because it gets quite long~ but I'll also TL;DR it with: been a bit burnt out, trying to get back into this, I apologize for all the unanswered asks, and I will be trying to get to the ones I can, but I'll be focusing more on trying to enjoy the process of making content~ Thank you to anyone who's stuck around <3

(Tw for brief mention of mental health/neurodivergencies~ nothing in depth or dark, but just incase anyone wants to avoid that <3)

Nothing serious has been going on, mostly just burn out and a bit of drama in main friend group, combined with free time just being a lot more limited recently~ (not a bad thing, most of it is because I'm getting to talk more with friends I've gotten closer to this past year~)

That said, I've been trying to get back into content, making it, reblogging it, etc, without letting it become all-consuming. I find, with the way my brain works, mostly to do to some wonderful neurodivergent tendencies, I tend to fall heavily into 'all of nothing' mentality.

This shows up in my day to day life, (ie: can't wash the dishes for weeks until I suddenly do them all in one day) and I've definitely noticed it with content creation. Need to write and finish a story in one go, record a wav as fast as possible, always afraid I'll lose that motivation.

But honestly? I love making content on here! And I'm not a huge blog, nor do I care if I am (at least trying not to, if I'm being painfully honest~) but I genuinely love making content. Whether it's just for me, a request that I am hoping one specific person will enjoy, or a story I write with a community in mind, I just love creating~

So, I'm trying to ease my way back into this! Bit by bit, let it be fun, and enjoyable, with less internal pressure to produce as much as I can, as fast as I can, and make it be perfect.

I won't lie and say 'numbers don't matter to me', if I'm honest, they do. But I'm learning more and more how to let it be about the content, and to just enjoy the process~ (and if people like it, that'll be a wonderful bonus!~)

Wooo this is getting so long, I apologize sincerely! Last thing, something I've mentioned a few times previously but never really let myself get into... requests~

I'm so honoured that people care about my content enough to have asked for things, and getting any ask, request, praise, ask lists, heck even just a 'hi!' is honestly the best part of this blog for me!

Buuuut, I definitely worked myself into burn-out before with a "every request needs to be filled and fast" mentality, that led to just... not filling any.

So! I'm going back through my inbox, and deleting some older ones that I don't have a clear vision/motivation for. I apologize to anyone who requested them, though by now it's possible they're long gone~ But I think this will help me not only start enjoying the creation process without feeling so overwhelmed, but also start actually getting more content made~

There are definitely a bunch that I still adore, and am thrilled to get to test out, but if there's one you remember sending, and you really want to see it completed, please feel free to send another ask saying what it is you want done, and I'll see if I can get that going <3

And if you've stuck it out to the end here- uh hi! ^^ I'm sorry this is so long, I'm such a words person, but I appreciate you so much, not just for any support you've offered, but just bothering to read this <3 I genuinely didn't expect most to make it this far, so thank you so deeply <3 and I hope to see you guys around as I start reblogging stuff more!~

[prettyinpunk]

the way you skulk 'round the house...

ART #2 FOR HER INCREDIBLE FIC AND(early) BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR MY ☀️ @killedbythegroove (1/3)

[rendevok]

not to spam your asks but im back to say that your edgeworth is wonderful as well and that should not be understated.

i was just looking at your narumitsu art and in your tags you say that you don't know what you're doing, but that's not how it looks at all! he is infinitely charming in your style, and i hope you can continue to get joy from drawing and sharing them both as much as it brightens my day to see your work of them. (i was simply compelled to comment on phoenix first because your art of him gives me unnecessary feelings) (ok im done, i promise) (unless?) 💖

WHO AM I TO DENY SUCH HIGH PRAISES 😳💗

Truly though, the only reason i say idk what i’m doing is because i just struggle to capture Edgeworth in a way that “clicks” like Phoenix does for me. He’s quite the character, and I’m still trying to tap into what makes him him. But it’s ok because i love the challenge (and also i won’t lose to that asshole /lh /srs). Knowing he looks right to you is the best review i could have gotten, so THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Glad I’m doing a good job!!

And you don’t have to worry! I love drawing them and I definitely don’t want to stop drawing them both, if my wip list has anything to say about it 😂

[rinhaler]

hello! i have a question abt your toxic megumi fic :) ! it may be a stupid question if so i apologize and you don’t have to answer this but it’s been on mind since i’ve read it, so megumi doesn’t love the reader if not how does he feel towards her? sorry once again if it’s a stupid question 😭!

Hi lovely! Not a stupid question at all thank you for asking this 🥺

He actually is very much in love with the reader but it’s such a toxic and controlling love it can definitely be misconstrued as other feelings. Megumi is very very very insecure in that particular story I wrote because he knows the reader is very beautiful and popular and worries she’ll leave him eventually. But he’s also very smart and because of his manipulative nature he knows how to get her exactly where he wants. He wants her to need him and be addicted to him and she unfortunately plays right into his hand every time. They both cheat on each other bc they are both super toxic but in the end he knows he can get away with murder when it comes to the reader because she’ll never be able to give up on him and how much she loves him. It would take a huge influence to make her leave him, it’s more or less impossible. He cheats bc he knows she’ll be angry but ultimately it scares her more than anything that she’ll lose him. She’ll cheat as an act of revenge but she and Megumi both know she’ll never find a good enough replacement for him no matter what.

So yeah in short, he does love her and he’s just a horrendous prick about it.

And if the end of the fic is the part that confused you, he didn’t say it back because he rarely does! He’ll say it at random times that give her hope that they have a good relationship but it’s, again, just to keep her under control. She worries when he doesn’t say it back to her and makes her want to make him love her back. So it’s just a never ending cycle really 😭

I Hope that was clear I’m sorry if it didn’t help or was a bit rambly, feel free to ask me anything you’re confused about! I love answering asks about my stories so this was very welcome 🥺🥺 thank you!

[97keanu]

i saw ur post about a new neo fic and was wondering if digital angel will make a comeback? it’s okay if you’ve laid it to rest but omfgggggg it was so good

I think the hardest part of continuing Digital Angel is because I never really had an end goal in mind when I made it, but! I think we will be seeing our goth!reader make a return to that world this summer as well as having a wip chapter that I want to revisit for DA soon! The new neo fic is going to be a one shot that is completely encapsulated, with similar topics as DA, so hopefully it can tide us all over until then! 💙

[marzipanladyart]

Even going through the horrors, I hope u have a good day today!! And have a great nap/sleep anytime u can <3

Thank you, dear anon <3 I'm going to work in like 3 hours, so it will keep me awake, maybe even cheer up a little, definitely will keep me busy.